Kutheni Uthando Lomnqophiso Luyahlazwa—kwaye Kutheni Siqhubeka Sililahla Ekugcineni

Kukho umvuselelo wangasese ekuvulekeleni amaphepha xa abantu babini bekamoralile into abayigcina njengemicimbi kwiingxoxo zabo, kwaye lowo mvuselelo sele wacenzelwa ukunengxa ukwazisa kakuhle iminyaka emide.

Indawo apho ukungaziwa kwaqala khona

Uthando lwemiboniso lwadlula kwesininzi ngokuba luyindawo of donyay, into ebangalelwe okanye ibhongo, kodwa ukungayiphuphi loo ntetho kunembali yayo. Emaphandleni etyala yokujonga ubuntlobo, uzinzo lolwalamkelo lwenzeka njengoko ibankonyana yephepha, ukungakhathalelwanga kwentetho, kunye nokuqhuba kwezinto ezintsha zenkqubo yokubhala. Iingxaki ezibalulekileyo malunga nobugcisa bendlela yokuziphatha noboza bezibizwa njengokuba zingeyona nto ibalulekileyo kuba ibambelela kwimvakalelo ezinxulumene nabantu abafana nabasetyhini. Xa amadoda abonisiweyo kunye neenkqubo eziqeqeshiweyo zichonga uhlu lwecosi, ziphatha imfihlo kunye nokuzonwabela njengokuba zingapheliyo.

Ngeli xesha, imidlalo yokushicilela kwixesha elisemthethweni yabenza uthando lwaba lula ukufikelela. Ubuso beHarlequin obuqaqambile, iimvavanyo zokusombulula umzobo, kunye namaphepha asezantsi azenzele ukuba iziganeko zothando zibe zinde, zihambele phambili, kwaye zibalisele ukuba ukupitonele okujongiwe kubekhona ubukho. Le nkonzo ithathe indawo njengokuba ingezisa enye indlela yokuvukela: ukuba kutheni ukulungele ukufumana incwadi, kungabikho nto yokonwabela.

Yongezelela into yokugxeka. Kwizithuba ezidlulileyo, abenzi-bantwana, iinkokheli zobuquno, kunye nabemi-mvelo zabo bafumana ithuba lokucwangcisa uthando lwekhathalelo kunye nomonde ukuba liyi-ethyenziswa njengenkokheli yesandi yomphakathi. Eli gagasi lathatha isivumelwano kwiimarimi zenkalo zoluntu, ukungena kwimiba yomntu, kunye nendawo efanelekileyo yomsebenzi wokuzonwabisa.

Okokugqibela, iimvavanyo zangaphakathi kwee feminism kunye nokuqwalaselwa kwezibhalo zingakhuthaza ukungazithembi. Abanye ababhali babona ukuba ukubhloga “izigqibo ezimnandi” kungaphambuka ukugqisa imiba yolawulo, ngelixa abanye bebona ukuba okuqulelwa ngothando lweminqweno kunokuba kuvuselele amandla abangelisi. Ezi ngxoxo zifanelekile ukuba zibenalo, kodwa zidonsa amathuba kwabaphambisi ukuba bahlulule imisebenzi yonke ngaphandle kokujongana nomonde.

Kutheni ukungaziwa kwenza ingxaki

Ukungaziwa uthando akayiyo into yokuhlala njengento engalunganga yokulungelelanisa. Ixhasa ukuba abantu abaninzi abafanele ukufumana ukungathathwa njengokuba kufuneka bazibophezele, abo bachunqwe, nabani na abanokuthuthuzelwa. Iyakhanyisela abantu besifazana kunye nabafundi beendawo ezivulekileyo ukuba ubomi babo bangaphakathi kunye nomvakalelo wabo womdla zibe sesinye isigqibo. Ukungakhathalelanga isini yohlobo lokulawula: kuyadlisa umbono woluntu ngokulula ngokumisa ukuba ezinye izithethe zixhaswe kakuhle ukuba zithintelwe ukuba zixoxwe.

Xa zonke iinkcukacha zokubalisa zibonwa njengento engenamsebenzi, siya kuphulukiswa ngeemizekelo zokuvuma, izixazululo zengxoxo, ukuthembeka kwentlalo, kunye neenkqubo ezinomsiramiso zothando. Uthando lwemixholo, xa lwenziwe kakuhle, lifundisa abafundi indlela abantu abaguquka ngayo, indlela abaxolelana ngayo, indlela abazithethe ngayo, kunye nendlela abazakuphinda bakwazise ngokuthembisayo. Ukulikhulula kususa isingxeto sokuziphatha kwezinto zokuziphatha.

Kutheni siqhubeka sihlawula kumaxabiso ayo

Isizathu esithobekileyo kukuziva iyiqale. Ubumnandi obuthotho lwamabhayibhile obonisa ukutshintsha, ukuncamagca ngaphambili lokungazithembisi, ukungayisiyo into efunyenweyo yokubethisa. Kodwa ukwehla kwengqonline gqitha akukhulisiyo.

• Ubume bokungxamiseki: Uthando lunika umkhombandlela wokwakha ubomi obunzixelela indlela esebenza ngayo. Imizekelo yaluphi na ubumanzi ziyanceda nabukho kumvoyiso ongekho kwengxoxo zoqobo.
• Ithemba njengomkhwa: Kwihlabathi elidala ukulindela ukugijima, uthando lophinda lube lude ukubonelela ngendlela yokulungisa. Likugqiba ukubona amathuba kunokuba ujongane kuphela nokoba nokuqhamba.
• Ulawulo kunye nokufezekiswa kwetyala: Ukufunda malunga nomdla kuvumela abafundi ukuba babe nako ukufunyanwa nokukhetha umdla. Oku kubalulekile xa imiyalelo yomphakathi ingabafakwanga abafazi nabantu abadibanayo.
• Uvulindlela olunokuphepha: Uthando luyindawo yokucwangcisa ukuvuma, ukuxhotyiswa, ukungxama, kunye nolawulo lwezimvo kumabali apho abafundi banokubukela izigqibo zenzeka ngaphandle kwengozi yoluntu.
• Uluntu kunye nomtshato: Abalandeli badibana ukuze badlulisele iingcebiso, ii-gifs, kunye neentlobo zeenkumbulo zexesha elizinzileyo. i-Genres yeemfanelo ziliqela kumandla angcono: baza bavakalise ukuba ukutya kukhathalele.

Uthando njengenkcazo yezosaloyikiso

Uthando alubandakanyi nje ukuma ngaphandle. Luyindawo yokugcinwa kwee khowudi malunga ngender, umsebenzi, nothando. Umnyhadala osetyulwa komnqophiso oluncinci, umntu onephepha elingenamkhawulo, okanye iqhezu lomntu ongaphandle, wenza ingxelo yenkqubo yokuxhasa: la mthandazo zibeka umthetho wokuhlonipha.

Nokuba izixoxo zangaphambili zithathwa ngendlela yobugqirha, iintlobo zomlando ezinobugorha zingakhutshwa. Ubuncwane beendlu zexesha elidlulileyo ezifumaneke njengomphandi wokweza amandla kunye nobukrelekrele bokuphathwa; uthando lwe-kuthandayo olunamvulindlela kunye nolwamkimi lunokusetyenziswa njengencwadi yomnxeba wokuncedisana ngaphandle kokudlula phezulu kumkhosi.

Izikhundla zezopolitiko ziqaqambileyo. Xa uthando lwemvakalelo luqonda isimfanelo somlomo kunye nentlonelo, luchithe amaxabiso endima yokuxhalaba ngamandla, ukuze kuqhamuke iingxaki ezenza kube lula ukungakhathaleli okanye ukungenamandla. Uthando luxhasa isivumelwano sekhaya kunye noshishini: luhlangana nokubamba ulwimi lweminqweno kwaye lubalwe lulwimi lwemida njengaluphi na ulwimi lweminqweno.

Indlela yokuphendula xa uthando luvinjelwe

Awudingi ukunqoba impikiswano yefestile ukuze uvikeleni imikhwa yakho yokufunda. Nantsi imiba ecwengelogayo, ezahlukeneyo, nezitayela, zingxamisayo, nezinto ezithetha zonke kuqinisa izinto.

• Uyakuvuma ukonwaba akusilo ixesha elibi: Ukuthanda into ekhululayo okanye eyakufanelelana ukukubonisa, akunomdla noyiphi into encinci.
• Amaxesha zihlala zingakhulisi, awekho amagaxyane: Yonke inkcubeko idinga ukuchitheka, ukufundisa, kunye nokutshintsha. Uthando lunokwenza zonke ezi zinto ndawonye.
• Uthando litfillsa izakhono zentlalo zomnoxo: Ukusuka ekuvumiseni, kumaxabiso, ukuya ekuxoxisaneni, uthando luma izakhono zobudlelwane ongazifumana kuninzi lwematshumi ezisetyenziswa.
• Ukumelwa kubalulekile: Xa abantu abasezintshonalwazi bavezwa kwiindaba zothando, oko kuyatshintsha indlela yokuba bangathandwa, bafunwe, kwaye bajongeka.
• Ukufundisisa kukusebenza kophando: Ufuna ukwazi ukuba ziva njani ukubuza umvuselelo, ukufowuna, okanye ukuxulela imbambano kwiminxeba yobudlelwane? Ifikshini iyakhulisa intlonipho kunye nokuqhelisa.
• Uganyo lukulungele ukuba lusebenza kwezombusazwe: Ukugcina ukonwaba nokufuna njengemigaqo yezopolitiko kuvuselela imithetho yembali yokuba kuthini ukonwaba kuyimfuneko.

Nika enye yale migca lapho umlingani enxinisa umbhikisho okanye xa i-“literary elite” izakubenza amakhulu. Zisebenzise nezibonelelo zakho zobuqu: incwadi ekufundisayo ukuze ufune into oyifunayo, umntu ongumtyholi ogqiba uxolo olwophumelela, indawo oyikhankanyayo oyikamnzulu. I-Anecdote yithuba lomzobo womdlalo womzobo womhla weentlobo ezithile.

Ukulibuyisa uthando njengento enkulu yomvuzo

Ukubuyisa uthando akuyi kugqitha ekungaphalaziyo. Kuyingxelo yokwehlukana phakathi kolwaziyo lokujonga into enyanisekileyo. Abathandi beengqondo zohlobo lwemini banendawo yokuxoxa ngokukhululekile malunga nezinto eziyinqaba kodwa bahlala bequbisa ukuba bangathetheli ngoba ukungakhathalelwayo kwephuculwa.

Zibandakanye njengokukuhlwaya. Nika izipho ngokuxhasa njengokuba ufuna ukuhlela iintyatyambo: khetha ngombala, iphunga, ixesha. Yabelana ngezibetho eziyenza uzive uyimvu okanye izigcawu ezikwenza uzive uziva ubuthathaka. Funda ngobani nobani ukuze umnxeba womfundi. Yenza imixholo. Qalisa iklaba yomqulu ongekho ntambama apho umthetho kukuba uza lephula ukunyanga, iimvakalelo, kunye nobungaqondakaliyo.

Xa ukhuluma ngothando, yibambe njengomthetho: ukufunda ngothando lomnye umntu akusiyo ukutya okungqubuzisayo; kuyavuma ukungena kuyo into yomnqophiso ukuze ube ngaphakathi kwenkqubo yesimiselo somnatha. Le yindlela yokufunda umnene ogqithayo.

Pleasure iyinto yengqiqo. Ukukhetha oko kukwenza uzive nobomi obungathiwa ngumgangatho owamkelwayo.

Uthando luzophinda luzamkele phakathi kwabantu abangazange bafune ukuba bangena okanye lokuba isisingqi abasingxeme kwindlela yakwa yintsha. Kodwa loluthando luyaqhubeka lwenza into yalo: linika amanqaku okufuna, ulwazi lwemeko, kunye nezigqibo zendlebe yokujonga. Ezi zinto azisatyhari. Zizithembiso.

Ukuba ufuna ukungena ngokucinezeleka emhlabeni apho ukhetho lwakho luthatha ibali, jonga Endless Romance. Liguqula iindlela zokonwaba ezisemoyeni zothando zibe izithuthi zokuzimela ozenzayo, ukuze uzibone ukuba injabulo ingathathwa njengeyentliziyo kwaye inonyuse.