Te Aroha Kore Pono: Te Tuhituhi a ngā Kaituhitu i te Ngaro (ki a rātou anō me te Pānui)

Ko te mamae o te whakapārekareka e whakamāramatia ana e te pono kāore i te pono me te haukeke o te mōhio i a koe i tūtaki koe ki te whakarākei i a koe e te mea kua whakahoahoa koe ki te tautohetohe; ko aua kaipāngarau e kore e pono ki te tangata kaituhi.

He aha te kai korero kore pono e noho ana ki roto i te aroha

E tupu ana te aroha i runga i te piriwhiri tangata. Ina te tangata tino tata ki te kaipānui kāore i te pono, ka piki ake te peera o te pēhitanga, te hiahia, me te wheako tikanga. Ka taea e te kai aroha kore pono te whakanuia i nga wheako herekete me te kore e taapiri i te morearea tinana. Ka pangia e ia te hiahia kia mārama, kia whai take ngā wairua, ā, ko te whakawhirinaki he rauemi ka whiwhi ki te whārangi.

Engari he mea kikokiko tēnei mahi. Mēnā ka mākū te whakahaere, he ētahi wā ka whai kiko pēnei āwangawanga me te hokairua. Mēnā ka mākona, ka huri te mea o te mea ‘tautokona i mua ake’ ki te whakapā o te hā oia-ake, mōhio ki te whakamaoria.

Ngā Momo o te kore pono me ā rātou āhua ki tō pūrongo

I mua o te tīmatanga o te kōrero, whakatakotohia he take mō te kore pono o tō kai korero. He rerekē ngā take e hanga ana i ngā mōhiohio rerekē mō te pangarau o te ao.

• Whaiaro-korearo: Ka whakapāehia te kai korero i te āhua o te kōrero whakahihiri. Ka puta mai ngā whakaatu māharahara i a rātou koe e titiro ana ki waho.
• Maama tohu āakelio rānei: He mea whakamahia mō ngā kōrero whakamataku kore tawhito, ētahi himene e noho ana i ngā wāhi mamae. Ko te hoki mai o te maharahara he aronga whakaaweawe ki te mōhio.
• Whakaaro e kimi ana me te moemoeā: Ka korero te kai korero i te ao e hiahia ana ia ki te noho. He āhua pārekareka pea, he mea whakapehapeha hoki i te mea e hāngai ana ki te aha ka tae ki mua.
• Nōhonga pono: E kōrero ana te kai korero ki ētahi atu ki te aro atu ki a rātou. Ka tizonge te kaupapa me te āwangawanga mō te mōrea me te whakaae.
• Ngā mokopuna kōrero me te pakaru: Ka ngaro ana korero, ā, i te mea he mea whakaiti, he mea nui ki te hanga i te ngaro kōrero.

Kua pīrangi koe ki te momo e pūrearea ana ki tō kaupapa. He rereke te kai korero e ngaro ana ki te tiaki i a rātou anō i te mea ko te tangata e maumahara kino ana.

Te whakatipu i te hāro ki te whai whakaaro me te whakanui i te hātepe

Me ngā tohu whakapesa ka tino manako i nga mea o mua. Whakaarohia nga tohu iti i mua, ā, ka mārama te tangata pānui ki te whakaata i te pono.

• Whakamahia te tutuki whea: He kakara motuhake, he mea e mahara ana, he rārangi tiniki te tohu—he huarahi ki te whakamana i te ōwehenga i muri mai.
• Meahia ngā tuakiri i roto i te reo o te kai korero, engari kia māmā. He rerenga kōrero e pākiki ana ki te ngaro o te pono me te kore e whaikohia.
• Tukuna ngā taipitopito tautoko ā-waho. Ka taerea e ētahi atu tangata te kai korero ki ngā āhua e whakarata ana ki te kai korero, ka mōhio te kaipānui ki te rereketanga me te noho tonu ki te pakihi.
• Aukati i ngā tohu iri koe i te mea ngaro. Mena kāore he whakatimahinga i te mea o te tohutohu, ka mōhio nga kaipānui ki te ngangau.

Tētahi tauira o te peka hou

Whakaarohia ka kaha te kai korero ki te whanaunga o mua kāore i te karanga i muri i te wehenga. Takirawa i tētahi wāhi e tirohia ana e te kai korero te pouaka phone me ngā tatauranga kore i tūturu, ā, whakaatu ana ki tētahi ki te hoa kāore ngā karere i tae mai; otirā, whakaatu ki a rātou kua whakautua te pākihi a te hoa, ka mutu i te wa i tangohia te waea. Ka pai te hāngai o tēnei mōhio ki te pārekareka, kāore i te mōhio ki te rereketanga.

Te mea ārai ki te pōkai-a-pono

Ka hoki mai ngā tangata ki roto i ngā mea e tautoko ana i te tangata, ahakoa te pona. Hei whakamana i te kai korero kore pono ki te aroha o te tangata:

• Kia tūpakohia te kore pono ki te hiahia. Whakaatohia te emo‑tion i muri i te tana: te mokemoke, te wehi ki te wehe, te pōuri. Me kite te kaipānui i te wound.
• Whakaaehia te tipu. Mēnā ka mōhio koe ki te tangata e toepono ana, me tahae i ngā take, ā, whiriwhiri ki te huri. He mea nui te whakapāarangi me te awareness o te tangata.
• Whakapūtia ngā wā poto o te ngākaukau. He wāhi motuhake e kati ana te kai korero ki te pono ki a ia ano, engari ka whakaputa i te pūmau me te āio.
• Whakamahia te joke ki te ranginui. He whakaiti i te ake ake ake ki a te tangata, ka whakanui ake te reanga o te whakaatu.

Te wa ki te whakaatu i te pono kia hurihia ki te catharsis, kāore i te tauwhi

Ko te rereketanga i waenganui i te aha e mōhiotia ana me te korekore o te mōhio ko te tere o te wā.

• Tārua te whakaatu. He mōriringi pai kei te rere ke ake i te tangata pānui ki te whakaahuareka i te mea kua mōhio ake. He mea nui ngā hurihanga tere ki te whai painga pē ake i ngā kōhatu i te ara.
• Kowhiri i te wā o te pakaru e runga ana i to tohu emotional arc. He taumata nui ake ngā whakapuaki kei te taenga ki te hurihanga i te mea kua pōka te mea mō te pakihi.
• Me āta mōhio ki te tangata ki te mea pono ma te mahi, ehara i te mea te mea a te kaituhi e hokahoka ana. Mēnā ka kitea e te kai korero te pono māna ake, ka nuku ngā whakapakoko me te pakiwaitara ki te tahi.
• Tukua he waa rere-muri. I muri i te whakaatu, whakarato mea ki te panui ki raraunga ki nga tangata. Whakaaturia nga pakarikari, ngā ngakau, me ngā take.

Nga tikanga whakaatu i ngā tirohanga rua kāore e pakaru te whakawhirinaki

A ia koe e hiahia ana ki te whakahoki ki ngā kaipānui ki te kore pono me te tuku i te wheako o te mōhiohere ki a koe, whakamahi ēnei taputapu:

• Ngā tirohanga rua: Whakapāe te kai korero kore pono ki tētahi atu tirohanga e tautohe kē ana ki a rātou. Ka puta te tino pōkai ā-waihōwihowi me te aroha ki nga taha e rua.
• Kōrero pakaru o te pono: Whakamātauhia ngā wāhanga nō te rārangi, ngā hurihanga mai i ētahi atu mea e pēnei ana i ngā tuhinga, īmēra, rānei ngā tuhinga o te diary.
• Ngā tohu kōrero ā-ōrite: Īmēra me ngā karere ka whakaatu i te mea e ngaro ana te kai korero, otirā i te wā i whakakakāngia te maharahara ki te kaha o te mahara.
• Ngā mea kore pono e whakahokia ana ki tētahi tangata: Ngā rārangi o te mea i mākū ake ai tō rōpū. Ka kite te pānui i te tukurua me te mate ā-‑hinengaro.

Ngā here mō te herekēkē me te mea pono me ngā kawenata

Ko te hapori aroha ki te rangatiratanga me te whakaute. Ka taea e te tohu kore pono te kokiwehenga, nō reira kia mārama ki ngā tikanga.

• Kaua e mākū ki te patu kai kōrero ki a rātou anō. Mena ka whakautua e rātou te kino, me mārama te pānga ki ngā whāinga.
• Tiakina ētahi atu tangata ki te whai wāhi. Ahakoa te mea kei runga te kai korero, me noho tētahi tangata tuarua ki te kore e whakaiti ki a koe.
• Whakaatu kawenata. Mena ka ngaro te mea, me whakaatu te whakatika. Me nui ake i ngā kupu; ā, me ngā mahi, te whakahokinga me te wā.
• Aukati ki te whakamahi i te trauma hei kākahu. Kaua e whakamahi i te ngaro memories hei kovera i ngā whai huruhurutanga o te whakaae. Mena e mārama ana te whakaaetanga i tētahi wā, me mau te kawenata ki te whārangi me whakamārama.

Arotake ngawari mō te tuhituhi o te koeake kore pono

• Kia mārama koe he take mō te kore pono. Me mea kia kaha ki te pārekareka, kaua ki te mea tika noa.
• Tukuna ngā tohutohu mohio e toru ake hei painga i muri i te whakaatu.
• Tukua he āhua whakahonore i te kai korero e ora ana ka riro ki te panui.
• Whakatauhia te mārama: ka riro te panui ki te tīkera, te mea pono, ā, te mea pai.

Kati—Kāore koe ki te whakaraka ranei te kore pono i a koe

Whakamahia tēnei mea i te wā e hiahia ana koe ki te piritanga ki te pokapū, te raranga uara me te rangahau o te whakapakari. Me mahara koe ki te whakapā ia te pūrongo pono, me te akiaki a te tangata ki te hiahia ki te whakawhirinaki. Mena kei te mōhio koe ki te raruraru, ka akiaki koe ki te mārō i te māramatanga me te kawenga, ki te mea kei te toe te tūtaki o te aroha.

Nga kupu whakamutunga mō te mahi toi

Aroha koe ki te mea kore pono he miihini awhina i te aroha, kāore ia i te mea only he rautaki. Ko ngā kai korero kore pono pai rawa atu tēnei, e whakaako ana i ngā kaipānui ki te pupuri i te here i te ringa kotahi me te aroha i te ētahi atu i te ringa kē. Ka tono ana i ngā panui anō, ka puta te pērā i te mea hou ki te mārama, ā, ka rerekē te mea ki te mea tika.

Mena kei te hiahia koe ki te whakamātau i ēnei hanganga i tētahi wāhi haumaru iti, ka taea te pūmau i ngā kōrero ā-ipurangi hei raunaki pai. He mea whaihua ētahi tono e whakakā tāngata ki ngā tirohanga me ngā hua, e whakaatu ana te kaha o tētehi reo kore pono ki te huri i te mea katoa mō te tangata e mārama ana ki te hā o te mea e tūhono ana ki a koe me te why. He mea nui tēnei mō Endle Romance e ērā ana ki te pakiwaitara tawhito me te kōwhiringa ake ki te hanga pūrongo, me te whakaū i te whakatika tūturu.

Kiwaha: Whakapāhia te kaipānui ki ngā kikorangi. Mēnā ka mahia e koe, ka piriti te whakaatu, ka riro i te mea tika, mā te wae, te kororo i te taha o te pono.